Date: 3 months ago   Category: Health

Teach the children to speak "no"! That is why it is so important


Any kisses with adults! the Journalist of CNN Katya Hetter has written to

article about why never forces the 7-year-old daughter to embrace and kiss other people, even relatives.

Earlier we published Diana's article of Spalding on the same subject, but here the discussion between parents has gone to a new round.

As writes Upworthy, Hetter since early years inspired in the daughter: "I want that you have embraced the grandmother, but I won't force you".

Hetter wanted that her daughter has learned about consent and that her body belongs only to her.

If the girl doesn't want to embrace the unfamiliar person, nobody has the right to force her. the Children's psychologist Irena van der Zande tells

about it: "When we teach children to submit to unwanted manifestations of love not to offend the relative or the friend, we thereby inspire in them that their body belongs not to them because they have to overcome the feelings for the sake of comfort of other people". Article Hetter became a virus sensation, having generated many discussions on the Internet.

In particular, Facebook community of Safe kids, thriving families has placed this article accompanied by such picture:

This post has collected 83 thousand likes and 188 thousand reposts, and reactions to him were the most different.

Many have written that we need to learn to think before forcing children to kiss or embrace strangers for them people.

Some have completely agreed: "I always feel ill at ease when acquaintances insist that their child has embraced me. If I see that he doesn't want it, I suggest simply "to give five"". "I work with sexual harassments and I can confirm that the majority of cases occur in family. Surely teach the child not to admit anybody to the body if he doesn't want it!" Others have written that it is excessive care: "That is you against children kissed grandmothers and grandfathers? And also дядь and aunts? I don't know, I in the childhood kissed and embraced all relatives and have grown up normal!" "Why to take something so innocent and harmless and to pervert? Here main problem of our culture: we in everything see some perversion!" But all have met in one: it isn't necessary to ignore this subject.

of Many of us since the childhood accustomed to show physically a love to people whom we hardly knew (including to relatives), giving smacking kiss to them in a cheek or clasping in strong arms. But whether we have to teach it the children?

Hetter of the right: children have to understand that "consent" means, and the earlier they will understand it, the better. Children have to be able to tell

"no" if something doesn't suit them. Help them with it!

A what you think of it?

Nikita Skorobogatov.

URL:




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